This morning I awakened with a heavy, mournful heart. I also awakened with a still upset abdominal system and this is all a result of having added nightshades back into my diet yesterday. Yes. Me, who never has a fridge without a red or yellow bell pepper in it, who cooks with tomatoes several times a week at least, has just realized she is intolerant to or has a pronounced allergy to one or quite possibly both of those foods.
This should not surprise me. At one point in my life, tomatoes gave me hives. But the truth is, I am somewhat devastated by this. I am devastated because I am making these changes to feel better and to control my MS. In the past if I wanted tomatoes, I would go ahead and eat them and suffer with the rotating ichiness/hives as it cycled through my body for several hours.
I must admit, I also wasn't quite the cook I am now. This was in my late teens/early twenties. I was just beginning to branch out and experiment at that time. I didn't have 'staples' as I do now. But, I am older now. I am more accomplished as a cook and I have developed my own style, a style that relies heavily on tomatoes and peppers. I also am not at a point where I want to just go ahead and eat it if I want to because I am doing it to control my MS and eating foods that kick up my immune system just because I want to flies in the face of everything I am trying to do.
There's also the fact that eating them yesterday did not send me into a hive-state (though I did get some very mild itching after the raw tomatoes). They actually made me feel sick and every time I think about them right now, I start feeling that way again.
No. I won't be eating tomatoes again soon. I may experiment with the peppers because it is possible this is all just a result of the tomatoes, though I suspect it is not.
I just spent an entire hour pawing through the Whole Life Nutrition Kitchen cookbook in an attempt to make myself feel better. I intended this exercise to show me there can be life after nightshades. All it ended up doing was throwing me into a fit of despair. Every single recipe that looked lovely and appealing to me that wasn't Thai or curry-inspired (and some that did), used tomatoes or red bell peppers or lemon juice --- all of which I must now eliminate in order to not feel sick.
I suppose I should look at this as a challenge, but the truth is I just feel sad.
